The Thoughts of Tarnished Hopes [Luna]

[DRACO MALFOY]

The Forest was covered in the thick velvety blanket of night, the balmy air adding to the trapped feeling the castle instilled in Draco. He had wandered from the common room after lying in his four poster for an interminable amount of time, simply staring at the darkened ceiling and listening to the deafening snores of Crabbe and Goyle. He could no longer stand the sound, or the heat (which he was sure was coming from inside him since it never got even warm in the dungeons) and had pulled on a robe over his pajamas (which consisted simply of emerald green flannel pants) not bothering to put on a shirt, but fastening his robe across his chest to give some coverage. After shoving his wand into his pocket he ascended the stairs from the dungeons, after nearly becoming sick while attempting to relax in the greenish light of the common room. He couldn't stand being in the dungeons anymore, he could hardly stand being in the castle at all, the whispers as he passed, the comments his housemates didn't dare to make about how much he'd changed, the severe decline in the attention received from girls due to his extreme weight loss, he couldn't take it any longer, he felt as though any moment his very body may just collapse in on itself and he's be left a sub human monstrosity like Lord Voldemort was after that all important night so many years ago.

Rubbing the deep purple circles beneath his eyes he found his feet had taken him out the large, scarred wooden door at the front of the castle and onto the lawn. He felt out of place looking out over the lake, so vast and full of life, and the quidditch pitch, the place that had brought him so much joy. This place was no longer where he belonged, his life was longer where he belonged, the only thing he was sure about, the only thing set in stone was that he wasn't ever going to be able to go back to that, his life was never going to be that good again. He ran a hand through his hair, yanking bits out in his anguish. He practically fell down the large castle steps, and let out a strangled cry, he was quiet, knowing he should be inside, should be back in bed, that he didn't need anymore trouble. But instead of going back inside he ran as hard as he could, for as long as he could, around the castle, across the ground, low, guttural sounds ripping from his throat with each step. Until he could no longer run, until he could no longer walk, until he could no longer crawl, he came to a stop at the edge of the forest, his body burning in every fiber and his throat dry and ripped, and dropped to his back in the grass.

The night air settled over him, dragging him down with it's damp heat, but he allowed himself to lie in the grass and watch the twinkling starts. Almost unconsciously he began to hum the lullaby his mother used when he had nightmares, and soon his throat no longer felt as though it was torn to shreds, and his body ached rather than burned. He sat up, suddenly extremely ashamed at his childish behavior, he was a Malfoy, he shuddered at the thought, and Malfoy's didn't act like this. He sat up and wrapped his arms over his shaking legs, running his thumb over the smooth wood of his wand handle, he continued to hum the lullaby, realizing that he could not be more ashamed of himself if he tried. Rather than staring at the sky, though, he fixed his eyes upon the forest, watching large shapeless forms dart to and fro beneath the trees cover and the blanket of night, determining how hard he would have to try to be killed if he were to enter it, unarmed. He waved the thought away, death was not the answer, his family would not survive without him, at least his mother wouldn't, and he couldn't bear to hurt her anymore than he already had, so he decided that death would not come to him, at least not tonight. He pushed his robe off his shoulders, and let it hang about his elbows, the thin fabric already stifling his overheated body.

[/size]

[LUNA LOVEGOOD]

Luna Lovegood was dreaming of the color blue. It was the color of midnight and possibly the most comforting color in the world. She thought it may have been that complete comfort which woke her. But there, the color oddly did not escape her. She found the airy dormitory to be the same midnight blue. At the moment she woke, her fellow Ravenclaw's snored in sync. Luna smiled, thinking she must be dreaming, and decided to escape into the blue night. Shoeless, she walked from common room to hallway to hallway to stairway. Quickly, she wanted to explore her dreamworld. The sharpness of the blue contrasted with the subtle colors of the day, and she needed something to have fun with. The recent changes at Hogwarts had her at bay. She couldn't move any closer to her friends, or with her dreams.

She was enjoying her ignorant dreams, and only when she reached the ground floor, did she question herself. A draft caught her attention. It flew through her plaid pajamas and rifled through her blond hair. Her eyes widened as she realized she had not been dreaming. It was that expression she was so famous for, Luna Lovegood had once again just wound up someplace without any warning or expectancy. Her brain awoke like a hurricane. Thoughts hit her left and right, where should she go, what should she do? Her feet stumbled forward and she brushed upon the front door. It was unlocked.

She exited the castle quickly. Outside, the sky was not a midnight blue. It was much darker than any color in her dreams. A mix of violets, blues, and blacks, she watched it as she moved forward, in the same way as the draft, it alarmed her. She felt a sudden tingle inside her stomach and she was reminded of her first friends, hidden in the forbidden forest. The threstals has been a safe haven at one time, and now they were a peaceful place to flee. They were the same threstals that had provided her friends with a ride to the Ministry of Magic two years ago. They were the same threstals that had accepted her when no one else had. They were rugged, misunderstood, and beautiful. Even if she was not dreaming, she wanted to see them in this dreamland.

She reached the edge of the lawn, where it met the forbidden forest and there she saw the strangest sight. A platinum blond boy was only a few paces to her left, his eyes glued to the stars twinkling in the sky. His pale body was easily recognizable against the green of his pants and of the grass below. It made Luna second guess herself, she surely must be dreaming. She realized that he did not see her, in fact, he seemed rather oblivious to most of his surroundings. Luna decided to approach him, why? she was not sure.

Approaching Draco Malfoy was like approaching a cobra. She made sure not to make a sound, easily done without shoes. She tip-toed behind the trees and shrub of the forbidden forest. When she finally reached him, she was standing directly behind him and he did not turn around. Her brain froze for the second time that night, she realized she didn't know how she really got there and she didn't know what she planned to do. Her eyes looked dazed as she whispered, "Draco?"

[DRACO MALFOY]

Something shifted in the atmosphere, so subtle it wasn't even noticeable, but Draco noticed everything these days, too much time spent in his own mind made him overly aware of the subtleties of life, Crabbe and Goyle thought he had become psychic, but he knew better, he knew too much. He turned his head ever so slightly, hardly even moving really, just adjusting his shoulders so his ear was toward the source of the disturbance. He listened for the click of shoes, the swish of robes, or the whoosh of breathing but heard nothing, he looked bank into the Forest, realizing his over tired, over stressed mind was simply inventing things. His fingers continued to trace patterns on his wands handle though, prepared to draw it at a moment's notice, but Draco knew he wouldn't have the heart to, if there really was anyone there he would let them do as they pleased, ridicule him, torture him, kill him, he didn't care anymore, and he couldn't be branded as a coward or traitor for being killed by surprise. He smelled something strange though, suddenly, something summery, and before he could inhale it fully someone was saying his name.

She didn't so much as say his name but breath it, questioning and gentle, he couldn't help but soften as the word hit his ears. It sounded strange coming from her mouth, no one used his first name, except the Deatheaters, and it had become more of a curse than a calling card, he winced slightly at the sweet almost innocent way it was uttered. In an instant though he was turned around, but he didn't bother rise from the ground, he recognized the girl, she was one of Potter's, she was probably here to torture him or bring him in to his death, he stayed on his knees at her feet, letting his head drop, he couldn't bear to look into her eyes, shining with a childish dreaminess, afraid that the loathing in his soul would seep into those perfect eyes. His fingers tightened around his wand, he didn't intend on using it but if he was going to go down without a fight he would at least want to make it look like he wasn't a complete coward, just that he had been caught off guard, an understandable, though foolish, mistake.

He chanced a look up at the girl, Luna, the name jumped him, Luna, it was perfect for her, it was perfect as they stood under the blue black sky and the moon shone weakly above, Luna, it was perfect for her warm snowy hair. Draco felt something he wasn't used to, but he'd been felling things like this a lot lately, it turned out (much to his surprise) that he did in fact have emotions, and did care for people, and he found himself reacting to people very differently than he had been taught to when he allowed himself to be natural. His eyes softened from the grimace of anticipated though accepted death as he looked up at Luna, he realized he had been looking for far too many seconds and looked back down at the grass, as his robe slid all the way off his arms and onto the grass behind him, he felt exposed but he didn't mind, he was still warm and the breeze felt nice on his bare skin. He let his fingers unfurl from the wand, but kept his hand in his pocket, he wasn't going to draw the wand but he didn't want to let her know that yet. He concentrated deeply on the damp grass below him and finally found the words that had been floating away from his lips into the recesses of his mind, "Luna," he moaned it quietly, the name rolling from his tongue and falling into the balmy, damp air, "what're you doing up?" he asked, almost casually, as if curfew was the most pressing issue between them.

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[LUNA LOVEGOOD]

Draco Malfoy was an arrogant, selfish, prideful, conceded prick. This information had been strongly suggested to her time and time again. In fact, it was one of the main things agreed upon by Dumbledore's Army and by her friends. She knew that Hermione, Ginny, Ron, Harry, and Neville all despised Draco and it seemed as if their reasons were valid. But Luna had never felt more than subtle teasing from the Slytherin, and that treatment was no longer seen in her eyes as uncommon or rude. Luna bit her upper lip wondering vaguely if she should turn away, she didn't want to betray her cause now. But she wasn't a Gryffindor, she could think things through. Right now, she was thinking exceptionally hard.

The boy in front of her was nothing like what had been described to her. He seemed weak, alone and scared. Luna would have already been comforting him if he wasn't Draco Malfoy. She briefly realized that he was shirtless, and that his skinny body looked sickly in the moonlight, but she didn't let that realization show on her face. She had made the accusation that whoever her friends thought Draco was would have to be confirmed for herself. She wasn't one to take another's opinion anyway, and she couldn't resist the obviously hurt boy. She wasn't going to let his mental or emotional wounds go untended. But she also decided to play it smart, he had quite a reputation. Luna did not believe he got it by playing the innocent role.

For the second time that violet night, Luna was reminded of her dear threstals. How misunderstood they were, and only because of their appearance and association with death. She wondered if it was simular with Draco, if he also was misunderstood because he was born a Malfoy and sorted as a Slytherin. It was true that being in one house or another defined you. It had prevented Luna from finding the people she was amazing friends with now, she wondered if it had prevented Draco from becoming all he could be. She could almost see the potential in his eyes, no one with that much distress could be evil. No, this boy was not lost to the world. And Luna refused to loose him now.

"Luna," Draco's voice was damaged, a moan. No one ever moaned at her. He said, "What're you doing up?" in the most casual way. She wondered how he knew her name. Was she a pressing topic in his circle of friends? Was she considered the enemy as she was suppose to be considering him? She saw his hand in his pocket, obviously on his wand and she took a step back. She didn't know Draco, and she didn't know if he would hex her, but she was suddenly scared that he would. "I was sleep walking." She took another step back, one of her hands slid into her pocket, feeling for her wand. She couldn't be found out here hexed, she couldn't lose now. Her punishments had been scarce so far, a fat lip currently blessed her face. But even that wasn't a big deal. She had seen so much worse, but now, when she was caught. She was not going to be shown mercy. Of course, maybe Draco wasn't planning on turning her in. Maybe he wanted to rid her, himself. She was sure the Carrows wouldn't mind the Malfoy boy bringing back the corpse of one of Harry's followers.

Luna tried to think straight. She kept calm, tried to be brave. Her eyes shone with mystery and fear, a tempting combination that kept the outside world outside. Her voice didn't shake when she whispered, "Are you going to hex me, Draco?" She nodded once toward his wand, still hidden in his right pocket. Upon feeling for her own wand, she had come up short. It was still on her bedside, back in the Ravenclaw tower. She could not afford to fight. She could not afford to die. She knew she had no choice now, she had to play the good guy. She had to befriend Draco Malfoy, at least for tonight.

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[DRACO MALFOY]

She didn't have a wand, Draco realized that almost immediately, she didn't have a wand because she was sleep walking, and she didn't have a wand so she could do him no harm, and he was glad for it. He pulled his hand from his pocket in a response to her question, he hadn't even thought of hexing her, he had thought of defending himself, but in the most cowardly way possible. He slowly looked up from the ground, finally meeting the girls eyes, and noticing her swelled lip, he wondered who could have done that to her, who could have the heart to have hit that innocent face. But he knew who would have done it, and he didn't want to think of it, for one night he didn't want to think about how he shouldn't be interacting with her at all, or how they should be killing each other at the moment, so he reached back into his pocket, removed his wand, and dropped it to the ground before Luna, before standing up and throwing his robe longways across his shoulders. "I'm not going to hurt you...I'm not." he said, trying to convince both himself and her of it.

He reached out to her, unsure of what exactly he was doing, and grasped one of her thin pale hands, which shone almost blue under the violet sky. He pulled her closer to the edge of the forest with him, seeing her eyes travel to it over and over, he wished to know what she saw within it. He knew her reputation, everyone said she was strange, and that she believed in so many far out things that every word she spoke was to be taken with a grain of salt, but he had never spoken to her directly, he had no idea what type of things could possibly make everyone think she was so mad, but he intended to find out.

Something about the night made him feel as if he may be sleepwalking as well, the way the moon shone a little too bright, the breeze pushed the grass and leaves a little too perfectly, and Luna gave in to him so easily, he was almost sure that this couldn't possibly be real. Real life was never sweet, Draco had come to learn that the hard way, but the flavor of the dream he was currently in was like a hard candy placed under his tongue while he slept, it had started so bitter, so hard, and unnatural but it had slowly softened, sweetened, and begun to melt all around him, the sheer perfection of the night he had chosen to sneak out hitting him in the same way a dream did just before waking, when you became almost lucid and every aspect of the dream state fell into your hands. He couldn't wrap his head around the fairytale aura the night around the forest took on, and he couldn't even begin to understand the way the moonlight scattered over both he and Luna's overly pale skin, he was 100% sure now that he was dreaming. But then again he had never had a dream like this, even when he was madly in love with Pansy she never appeared in his dreams, and the appearance of this strange girl was something he didn't think his damaged mind could produce.

Confusion crossed his pale, pointed features as he pondered the aspects of the night, he couldn't decide if he was dreaming or not, and he didn't mind, and that worried him, he had never in his life been so comfortable in dreamy uncertainty, a trait inherited from his father. But something inside him shifted in the moment, and he completely forgot the reason he had escaped the castle in the first place, for the first time in months the heaviness in his heart let up, if only slightly, and he smiled inwardly at the realization. His mind was bleary, he might be asleep, he might be awake, but it didn't matter, all that mattered in this moment was Luna, a sentence he would have never thought he would utter. Luna wasn't his, not at all, she was hardly Potter's, she was like a bird who could be caged but never truly owned, even if she was on your side she still belonged to the sky, as she would never truly belong among people, Draco could see this in her eyes. She didn't belong, neither did he, maybe that's what drew him to her, but he didn't spend much time thinking about it, he couldn't manage to keep thoughts in his mind as they kept shimmering away from him into the balmy air, flitting away too quickly for him to catch them, but once again he didn't mind any of these things, his dream was too perfect to be bothered by such trivial things such as if it was real or right. He noticed tears rolling down his cheeks but ignored them and tugged Luna by the hand closer to the forest's edge.

[/size]

[LUNA LOVEGOOD]

The following events confused Luna Lovegood to no end. She was shaken when Draco cast aside his wand, his voice wavered as he spoke. "I'm not going to hurt you...I'm not." A large part of her wanted to trust him, wanted to comfort his obviously troubled mind. But another part of her was still fighting through, it was screaming at her, almost begging for her to see that this was not a boy to be comforted, that this was the part where she ran. Luna shuffled another foot back. She was completely under the forest's shadow now.

As quickly as she was safe under those thick branches did he pull her back into the moonlight. His pale hand had reached for hers and her mouth had opened to object but no sounds came out. Her eyes provided all the surprise she could muster. They searched the forest for an escape, not from his embrace but from the response she was expected to give. The battle inside of her mind raved this way and that, the turmoil refusing to give one way or another. She kept trying to think logically but it seemed as if the more sweetly he acted, the less she understood. "We're standing very close." Her blunt words shoke the icy world, turning the dream into reality. For a moment she thought she may still be dreaming, for where else would she meet a Draco as sweet as this.

Her hand slid away from his and rested at her side. "I've heard your very mean." Her voice shook, but her bluntness continued. It was very like her to be as blunt as she was now, and she knew it caught most people off guard. So as she watched his face for a reaction, she bit her bruised lip. She thought of Harry, what would he want her to do? Would he want her to run? Or would he want her to stay, he was quite obsessed with Draco for a while. Maybe she was lured to him in the same way, maybe she wanted to figure him out in the same way Harry did. She could imagine them, under the moonlight, unraveling each other's secrets with the blunt questions and the mystical look in their eyes. They could forget about the castle and the Carrows and the war. They could spend one dream night without worries or fate or sides to choose. Luna realized she would very much like that. She would like one more night of freedom before her allegiance was sworn, although it technically already was.

The dream like world gleamed down on the perfect pale pair. Both of their platinum hair shone under the moon's rays, they looked like ghosts in front of the dark and dangerous forest. For a moment Luna forgot to breathe, she was overtaken with the place around her. The silence was eerie, so she spoke. Her voice had faded significantly when she spoke again. The words lurched in her throat, waiting for the right moment of silence. "But you don't seem mean." Her eyes were downcast, as if she was ashamed of her thoughts or too shy to see what emotions she stirred.

But she did look up again, she looked up to see the answer to her question. She wanted to know why he wasn't being himself, and although she didn't ask him out right, she was expecting an answer. Perhaps it was a Ravenclaw trait to twist a simple question into two simple statements. Perhaps it would have been easier the other way, but Luna didn't care for questions under the simple moonlight. She only wanted answers, maybe she thought, she was just like Harry Potter. She was researching the things she didn't understand. Maybe she would never understand him, she didn't think Harry ever figured him out. But Harry never stood in front of him and asked for the answers. Luna smiled absentmindedly at her approach. It was as if she thought it was some sort of accomplishment.

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]